9th Jan 2020, Inverness (46 days since PCT).
I’m like a small nervous bird – feeling twitchy and flighty. It’s so tempting to fly away to somewhere warm and new and exciting.
And yet I’m here with my flock. And my beautiful nest.
And I know this is my place for now.
This is where I can do work that gives me meaning and where I can be with my ‘home people’. This is where I choose to live my values whilst still dreaming and reaching beyond what is.
This last week I noticed myself think hundreds of chaotic thoughts about what’s next. And I’ve over heard my fast chatter about all my ideas.
In this moment I’m hugely energised and excited as messy ideas are beginning to take more solid form.
But other ideas will just be that – ideas. We can’t do ‘all the things’, some ideas are just distractions that are fun to explore. And I trust, in time, my values and intuition will guide me.
Suffering comes if I judge myself in this process but peace comes when I accept its inevitable messiness.
It’s okay to sit with not knowing and with uncomfortable feelings. It’s more than okay, it’s necessary.
These chilly, ‘weathery’, short days of winter have much beauty, as does this messy business of living a good life.
And this little bird isn’t flying anywhere any time soon!