I’ve dreamt of walking the Pacific Crest Trail for the last 2 years and here I am at the Trail Head ‘Harts Pass’. At over 6000 feet elevation it’s chilly.
I’m nervous and cold legged.
A quick change from shorts into leggings at the road side fixes the cold legs at least.
And then I’m walking.
It feels strange to be here. And to be walking. The simplest of actions all of a sudden feels awkward to me.
I’m feeling a bit jittery.
But it takes energy to sustain excitement and I didn’t have energy to spare.
So I slowly settle into a rhythm.
I get to know Yahtzee, a younger American woman who has shared a ride to the start with me. (So named as she loves the game and takes it on trail!). Some miles we chat. Some we are silent.
I take in the landscape – the intimidating outline of the Cascade mountain range, a bright tapestry of wildflowers, corpses of burnt trees from forest fires a few years back. And in contrast tall fir trees shaped like wizards hats.
By 8pm we find a place to camp, know as ‘the meadow’. We’ve walked 15 miles – From 2pm till 8pm. I’m shattered – so i quickly eat my boil in the bag dinner and crawl into my tent.
It’s cold and I struggle to get warm in my sleeping bag.
In my exhaustion I feel a bit low and questioned myself:
What am I doing here?
Can I live like this for the next 5 months?
Am I hardy enough?
Before I can answer, a deep restorative sleep came over me. ~~~ I woke up feeling like me again. Feeling excited that this dream has become a real thing in the world.
Dreams can have shadows of doubt and cold nights in them – and still be the thing we’ve been reaching for.